Anna had a great morning run, until she found her X-husband’s dead body on her front lawn. It would be just like him to prank her. She nudged his leg with her foot. Nothing. Then she wound up and kicked him really hard in the thigh. Nothing. “Shit, Shit, Shit,” flew out of her mouth as she stomped towards her neighbor’s side door.
Her thoughts were flying. Oh, you are so the prime suspect. Maybe that stupid, little twit of a girl friend did it and dumped him here. Oh, maybe his crazy business partners got sick of his crap? This is not good. Shit! I have to cancel my morning meeting.
She knocked on the neighbor’s side door and waited.
“Hey, Curt, I hum..well..I think Jack's dead on my front lawn.”
Curt just stood and stared at her as he wiped this face to get the sleep out.
“Sorry? Jack peed on your lawn? How would you know that?” still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Dead. I think he is dead?”
“What?”
“He’s on the lawn by the rhododendrons,” as she put her hands to her face to keep from crying.
“Ah…Let me…ummm…shoes…” as they started down the drive way, “Yep, that’s Jack.”
They stood and stared at the still body for a few minutes. From across the street, Alice, the 78 year old neighbor, came out of her house to pick up the morning paper. Her coffee mug in hand tattered in her bony hand, while a cigarette perched on her bottom lip. She walked up to Anna and Curt, “Why’s Jack sleeping in the bushes?”
“He dead, I think?” Anna just stood frozen.
“Well, is anyone going to do a test?” Alice took her foot and nudged Jack’s arm. Nothing.
“Tried that," said Anna trying not to vomit.
“How about this?” as Alice’s leg swiftly flexed and landed squarely in Jack’s stomach. Nothing. Curt’s face went white as he searched for his cell phone.
“Yep, rat bastard’s dead,” Alice took a sip of her coffee and headed back towards her house.
